'The big dilemma'

I need to become motivated. Now.

It’s not a great feeling when you know you’re slowly sinking deeper and deeper into the pit of uncertainty for the future... God, that was a bit melodramatic, wasn’t it? Basically, I feel a bit useless at the moment. College is very uninspiring, I don’t have any hobbies to speak of and I have no idea what I’m doing after college.

I would go to university, I still will probably go to university, but I’m just unsure what I’d do there, honestly. It’s difficult when I feel like everyone’s already getting their lives planned out and I’m still not even sure what degrees to look at! The thing is, I don’t really love any subjects that much, if I’m honest – academic ones I mean. I wish I had a passion for science or a passion for something that I could realistically do a degree in. I mean I like history but at the moment I’m not sure if I would want to commit to three years of it!

It’s all very frustrating, especially when I know what job I want to do at the end of it all. I want to go into either television or radio production but it is impossibly hard – especially when 99.97% of the work experience is all 18+... And you need to actually have experience in the first place to get any worthwhile experience. Do you see my problem? It’s a bit of a catch 22 situation, really.

Coming away from that existential crisis I like to call ‘the big dilemma’, I need some motivation for my college work at the moment. I told myself at the start of the year that I would make more of an effort this term (again – not a new year’s resolution, thank you...) but that ‘motivation’ is already waning. I still look at the list of deadlines with utter dread, worrying whether I will actually find the time to be bothered, you know? I’m one of those “I’ll do it later” people. I should probably change that...

Well, this has been a bit less inspiring to myself than I was hoping it would be...

GET MOTIVATED LAURA.

There we go, that’s a bit of a note-to-self.

Right! Next post will be a bit more upbeat, I hope... Thank you for putting up with my rambling if you’ve already got this far down the page. This is the end, I promise...

Laura.