Positive thinking.

Hello everybody!

I was told by a friend of mine last week that my blog is quite depressing at the moment – I laughed. Yes it is! It definitely is! I’m now aware that just blurting out the innermost thoughts during existential crises isn’t the best reading material... So. Postive thinking! What do you even want to read about? My opinions on current events? My analysis of different kinds of fruit smoothies? I don’t know!

Maybe I should just dive in and talk about what I’m happy about at the moment. It’s like Pollyanna with her ‘glad game’ (has anybody else watched that or is it just me and my sister?)... Well. I’m glad for my friends, for one thing. If you’re reading this, which I know some of you are – thank you - I know I’m not exactly the greatest person to be around when I never shut up, say weird things and do everything else Laura-ish... You never make me feel bad for it so thank you. (Dear god this is a bit soppy isn’t it? I’m not a soppy person). Something else I’m glad for... hm... my family? God I am seriously making these up on the spot – Abi I blame you for this blog post idea! (Not that I had any others, mind) I’m terrible at expressing emotions...

I am managing in college, sort of. I am doing fine in my work it’s just the motivation thing again, I guess. My friend told me today that she’d already revised about a quarter of the material on Soviet Russia... That is a lot of notes. I haven’t started. 

My mum keeps telling me to book open days at universities and I probably should be doing that. Last week my sister kindly reminded me whilst I was relaxing that “Laura! You’re going to uni next year”. “If I go” is what I always respond. Everyone knows what they want to do and I’m panicking!

It’s kind of ironic seeing as the topic we’ve conveniently just moved onto in psychology is stress... Just before our mock exams. Wonderful. So we’re sat there going through reasons for stress and there were so many. I just stared at the board thinking “dear god how will I survive as an adult?”.  Not surprisingly, workload was at the top of the list – and fear of failure. Well that sums it up for me! We then started to go through methods of dealing with stress and my teacher kept mentioning exercise as the most effective way of helping stress. I am a lazy person. I sat there thinking “yes! I will do more exercise” imagining myself running the stress away on the treadmill when I got home, not taking into account I am literally so unfit. My friend asked me if I wanted to take part in a run with her in the summer and I had to say no for fear of literally collapsing after ten minutes...

I get stressed over the smallest things, though. I’m not even joking, I get stressed out if I’m watching too many tv shows at once (which I most definitely am). I am supposed to be watching a tv series my friend lent me a few months ago and I have watched two episodes so far. Out of twenty two. I’m sorry Kayleigh, I will try to stop procrastinating watching that show by watching other shows... You can probably see my motivation problem now. I once asked Mark Gatiss how he deals with stressful deadlines and he said "I ignore them". Maybe I should try that (to an extent). I’m currently staring at a whole mountain of blank revision cards and an unticked list of work that needs doing and I’m sat here typing this. It does actually help me de-stress a bit – venting is good. (Although you always have to be wary who you vent to, of course; but I can trust you...)

Laura.