Universities, Universities, Universities.

I often find there's nothing more daunting than a blank word document (as does my computer too, apparently, as it has frozen up even at the concept of opening one up). This is my situation for a few things at the moment. First is this blog, I suppose. Now don't get me wrong, I love this blog and how it gives me the opportunity to rant at whatever I so please... However, actually thinking of a topic that I can talk about for more than a paragraph is really hard for me, especially as all I have going on in my life is universities, universities, universities (I suppose choosing universities it is a bit like Location, Location, Location in a way, isn't it?). This brings me onto the second reason I'm finding blank word documents daunting at the moment: personal statements.

I actually need to start my personal statement. Soon. I need to get in a draft for September and I am yet to write a word. I mean I do have a few things I can put in there but for me it is just the issue that I have no idea how to write about myself properly. As you know all too well from this blog, I am sarcastic, I am a pessimist, and I am a bit rubbish at drumming up motivation sometimes. (I do really want to go to university though). So, when I usually write about myself, it's usually in the form of sarcastic rant-like blogposts such as the one you see before you. Plus, of course, we're back to the issue of the blank word document. 

I do realise I'm just going to have to get on and start it. I feel like I need Shia Labeouf shouting "JUST DO IT" in my ears at all hours of the day right now. I think the reason this blank document is so intimidating is the fact that whatever I write on it is going to determine whether I get into the university I want. I mean, some of the talks I’ve heard have said “They don’t even read them don’t worry” but really, why work to that assumption? If someone might read it, I’m going to make sure it’s good.

I'm also starting something called an EPQ. Now if you're not from the UK or just don't know what it is, an EPQ stands for Extended Project Qualification, and for me this basically means a 6,000 word dissertation on any topic of my choice. I do not know how to write a dissertation. Or plan one. I do not even have a question set up yet. I do have a lot of extra reading though... My theory is that if I do most of it in the next few weeks, I’ll get it over and out of the way (mainly, I mean just the research -  I still have to write it)

I've been spending a bit of time looking around universities lately and it seems that the decision that should be easy to go "I don't like this university" and "I'll apply for that one definitely" really isn't easy at all. Going back to Location, Location, Location (property show in the UK, if you didn’t know!) it really is getting like that. It’s as if I’m looking for loads of things at once (you know how it is – “I want 5 bathrooms, two kitchens, a fountain, and a private annex and dance studio for my dog...”)

My biggest weakness has to be pretty buildings, though. Even if my mum is saying "The course, the course!" at some points I seem completely in a trance, repeating "it's so pretty! Look at that ceiling. Oh my god that bookcase". I can't help it. I just love pretty buildings. I probably need to counteract that a bit though...

Some universities seem to have the perfect course but everything else isn’t so wonderful, or vice versa. I can’t seem to find the perfect mix right now but I think I may have to compromise. You do learn what to ask, though. Something I always like to do when looking around universities is say to myself “If it was raining and cold and you were tired as hell on a Monday morning, would you still feel like shit here? Would I be okay to get however long on public transport to a lecture?” because really, sometimes thinking about it in a different way than just the summery sunshine setting that you first see it in can make a difference. Also, ask the students questions, a lot of questions, no matter how small.

Something that I’ve also been doing is writing everything down. With the open days so close to one another most of the time, it’s surprisingly easy to forget little things that you thought on the day. So I’ve got yet another word document for that. I know it might be a bit frivolous but I think it might help. To be honest though, I’m just so indecisive that I don’t know if I’ll ever choose.

Anyway, I’ll stop rambling at you now. Thanks for reading!

Laura.