Boredom: my old unwanted friend

Hello again!

As I opened up this blog to write a post I realised that it’s only been about 4 days since I last posted. It’s not really me just making up for the lost three months of no blogging, though. Since my exams have ceased, I have encountered my old unwanted friend called boredom. Now I’m not talking about the “Oh this revision is so boring!” or “Lessons are so boring” type of boredom, I’m talking about the days-on-end-not-doing-anything-productive-whatsoever boredom. Even though I’m happy exams are over, I kind of feel like I don’t know what to do with myself.

When I said this to my mum I laughed when she asked whether I was missing exams. In a way though, the more I think about it, I kind of get what she means. Of course I don’t miss exams and revision (who would?) but at least having all of that going on a) gave me something to do and b) made it so I felt I was doing something with my life. It says it all when I have hours to watch TV yet I find myself wanting to find something more interesting to do instead. So basically my conclusion from that is that I need to do something with myself. Now.

It’s sort of like when a child wants a toy and only really wants it when they don’t have it. In my situation, I thought doing nothing but watching television and films all day was the dream whilst I had a bottomless pit of revision cards to look over but now it’s all over, the novelty has worn off a bit.

To be totally honest with you, I had a bit of an existential crisis this week (only briefly). I mean yes, it’s always bubbling away inside my brain but sometimes it just erupts in a few hours of oh god what am I doing with my life? I’m sure everyone must feel like this at some point. I don’t have a clear path to follow. It’s like there should be a clear answer but someone very tall has just stood in front of me so I can’t see it... (I’m pretty sure that was the worst simile I’ve ever come up with... Note to self: never become a poet, Laura). Hopefully once I’ve started looking around universities and written the oh-so-dreaded personal statement, I’ll feel a bit better. Does anyone have any advice? I’m feeling a bit lost with it all.

Going back to a bit of positivity, it was my birthday on Friday! I'm now 17! Not quite an adult but not quite a child... Bit of an ambiguous age, really! It was great to see my friends and I got a lot of chocolate (although not as much as last year - my god that was a sight to behold) and so many cool presents. I had such a nice day so shout out to my lovely friends (both offline and online) for making it so nice! I love you all! (Wow that got cheesy very quickly, didn't it?)

Anyway, back to doing nothing productive!

Laura.