Motivation

Hello! It’s been a while... Well, not really that long but it certainly feels like that. Boy, am I glad to see you guys. I have signed up to help with the student magazine and we’ve been writing our sample pieces this week. Basically I have volunteered to do the film and television reviews (I can realistically only pick one per issue really, I may go on too long) and I didn’t realise how hard it is to write reviews for things... I thought it would just all flow out of me naturally (that sounded odd) when I sat down at my laptop but it was actually really difficult to get the hang of. I hope I manage it eventually! I have also volunteered to do a ‘cool facts’ section, which, admittedly could have used a slightly more professional adjective in the name when I suggested it so I didn’t sound about six years old but oh well... They are cool facts. Cool fact: did you know that Uranus was originally going to be called George? That would have actually been hilarious.

Anyway, I’m muddling along with life in general I suppose. My main and only topic of conversation at parties is still “ooh sixth form” but hey, what can you do? I’ve just had my mock grades back and it seems like I’m going to have to carry on the dreaded English language as I actually did the best in it out of my subjects... Isn’t that ironic? (It’s like rain, on my non-existent wedding day...).

If I had a penny for every time I mentioned motivation in these blog posts I would have at least 23p. Motivation is the bane of my existence. I just cannot seem to stop procrastinating, it’s quite a big problem, honestly. My exams are in two months, for god’s sake. And here I go again, I literally have nothing else to talk about other than college at the moment.

I feel like I need to be a bit more adventurous really, I don’t actually do much. For somebody that has a maths test tomorrow morning, I’m not exactly revising, or even thinking about revising. I mean I used to get to the point where I was panicking whilst procrastinating but now it’s sort of descended into “I should be doing this but I don’t really feel the need or urgency to at all”. This is one of my worst habits – leaving things until last minute. I’m sure a lot of you might share this trait, but it’s actually becoming quite a problem for me lately. I’m having GCSE flashbacks...

When I say leaving things until last minute, my mind does have a lot of notice beforehand that it should be doing these things.  I’m not sure what goes on in that thought process, but the stress and oh god why haven’t I revised this yet doesn’t actually hit me until the eleventh hour. Whenever I have enough motivation to actually do some revision willingly (that is pretty rare), as soon as I’m finished, my mind instantly switches to the mode of “Wow Laura you have done so much revision you’re going to do so great just keep this up and work constantly” and then it switches off completely after about 5 minutes of this. It’s not great for keeping motivation up, honestly. When I’m doing history, I usually end up making up puns half the time... My friends know this very well...

Speaking of my friends, I feel like I should do more with them! (If you are reading this, friends, imagine I am that poster of Lord Kitchener pointing at you from all directions – “Your country needs YOU!” – you know the one). With summer fast approaching (although the weather seemed to change its mind today) I am yet again feeling the “Let’s do something cool!” motivation. So maybe I should. I’m not sure, I’ll probably say all this now and then in a few months I will be feeling lazy as hell.

Speaking of feeling lazy as hell, I’m going to go and sleep now I think (aka browse on my phone in bed for another hour in the dark).

Laura.