The bigger picture.

So it’s February! [unenthusiastic forced cheering] I used to always spell February wrong when I was younger, which I’m sure quite a lot of other people did too (“It’s February”). I really don’t have anything to look forward to this month, and it’s only just hit me that my mock exams are this month... Oh dear. I am yet to start revising Totalitarian Russia for History... Ah.

Yesterday I went to a course with my friend Kayleigh in Ealing Broadway (London) about Television production (I think I’ve mentioned it before). When we pulled up to Ealing Studios, I thought it looked tiny, but it turns out it’s a lot bigger in the back... Unfortunately all of the studios were closed for the day, I guess, seeing as it was quiet and all the doors were closed! It felt pretty cool to be at Ealing Studios though because so many things have been filmed there, even some parts of my favourite films and TV shows! According to my sister, Shaun of the Dead was apparently filmed there (got to love Simon Pegg), some Doctor Who (my childhood) is also filmed there, as is Downton Abbey. I must admit I did freak out a tiny bit inside when we went up to find the toilets and the production offices for Downton Abbey were right in front of us... I wonder if they were planning to kill any more of my favourite characters off in there.  We did actually find a Downton Abbey studio door though, a caution sign stating ‘REAL GLASS USED ON SET. And some fake glass. And sometimes no glass at all’. That did make me laugh – got to cover all bases...

Anyway, back to the course, it was actually really interesting. Television production is actually so complicated it’s a bit worrying – there are so many different jobs people do and you need to get it right! The fact that we were told that a lot of the jobs are in London worried me – I live over two hours away and literally nothing happens in my city... I already knew that to be honest but it doesn’t really help my current situation! Overall though, I definitely think that television is the job for me, no matter how hard I am going to have to persevere to get into it. There wasn’t any point in the course where I was bored (yes, even the budgeting part) and it just seemed right – you know? That of course doesn’t yet solve the problem of the ‘big dilemma’, but at least it’s given me a bit of insight into what it’s going to be like. I need a runner job and a driver’s license by next summer ideally... Yes, Laura, good luck with that.

First of all though I need motivation. It’s really quite hard for me to find that push to want to actually get up and do some revision. Whenever I say to my mum about needing more motivation, she always says “Well aren’t your exams motivation enough?”. That’s the thing, I get where she’s coming from, they should be enough, but it just doesn’t seem to work like that with me. I can’t see the bigger picture very well, I don’t necessarily see into the future where I am smashing my head repeatedly into the table when I don’t know the answer in the exam. There’s always something I’d rather be doing. Can’t I just skip to the part where I have my life sorted out, please? 

Laura.